Dealing with scorned love



Ms Sarah Opendi

There has been a flurry of conversations after NRM’s Tanga Odoi and Sarah Opendi, the State Minister for Health exchanged some unsavory words about each other. It would seem they knew each other as teenagers and one of them tried to spark a love relationship with the other, only to be rebuffed. Hell hath no fury as a lover (or would-be lover) scorned!


When you look back into your secondary school days, do you remember that one boy who persistently pursued you, yet you were not interested in knowing him? When he finally understood that he would never have you, the love or lust he had for you turned into hatred. What is even more interesting is that we find such men in the working world. Woe unto you if you reject him! You go into love the way you go into a business transaction. Many times, the deal does not go through in the initial days. It is the same with love. Not every woman you approach will accept you. You are, after all, not God’s answer to women.


A few years back, a friend went through this kind of situation. She was working in a supermarket at a petrol station. The manager of the petrol station showed a keen interest in her. And he was married. Surprisingly, she did not reject him because he was married. She rejected him because his eyes were too small. He was so angry that he began devising means for her to get sacked. He filed reports about her “misconduct” to the owner of the petrol station. When that did not work, he took his rumours to the customers. Eventually, she had to leave before she was fired.


A scorned lover can destroy your marriage or relationship. The thing about rejecting a man is that his hurt feelings give you so much power over him. He keeps on wondering why you rejected him. Every time he succeeds at something, he wants you to be aware of what you missed. I once met one such man at a restaurant as I was with my partner. I chose to ignore him, thinking he would do the same; it had been seven years since he asked me out. I never told him why I was not enthusiastic about his advance, but he was short. Short men are not my type. At the restaurant, he kept staring at me, and then, sent a note saying he had really missed me. I had not thought about him in those seven years.


When I went to the restroom, he followed me and as we stood at the door, he began crying, asking why I had not accepted him. I was shocked! Here I was, standing in a restaurant in Kampala, having to deal with a crying married man, yet my partner was waiting for me at our table. I had to tell my man the entire story before this blabbering crier got to him.